The Right Fit

I had my 3 month follow up with my new Endo on Monday.  This was the 3rd visit since changing over to his clinic.  The first two visits were great, but I was very nervous about this one.  After taking my 6.8 A1C down to 6.6 last time, I knew this one was going to be moving in the other direction.  Keeping myself sane has been a full time job for the last 3-4 months, and living with diabetes is a full time job.  Oh, and I also have a real full time job that is necessary to support myself and my family.  3 full time jobs had proven to be too much and something had to give.  That something was my diabetes care.  I still took my daily dose of Lantus, but bolusing was sporadic at best, and checking my blood sugar was pretty rare.  So I knew things were going to be up from last visit.  At my last visit I had explained to the doc that I had been feeling a funk and testing was usually only about once a day.  His response was that if a funk had me at 6.6 then he was totally OK with that.  I didn't really know how he was going to react this time.  He shared my lab results with me and, as expected, my A1C had gone up.  A little more than I had expected but not surprising.  8.1.  Not terrible really, but still disappointing since I haven't seen anything above the 7's since being moved over to insulin therapy.  I explained to him that I had been struggling with some depression and trying to get myself in line there.  You never really know how a doctor is going to respond to your test results and your excuse for increasing numbers.  But I was very very happy with his reaction.  He was so understanding.  Telling me that he understood that keeping myself healthy mentally would take priority over my diabetes care.  He was open about feeling that an 8.1 wasn't ideal, but not really that bad, especially if I was struggling in other aspects of my life.  Words can not explain how relieved I was.  I'm not sure how I would have reacted if he had chosen to chastise me or judge me for the change in my care, as could easily have been the case.  And I really don't think I have it in me to hunt for a new Endo right now.  So having him be so understanding meant the world to me.  Sometimes it takes a lot to find a doctor who is a good fit.  Someone who takes time to listen to your concerns, explain things that you are unsure of, and shows empathy for whatever your situation may be.  But I am glad to say that, at least for my diabetes care, I've found the right place.