"You Won't Know"

"Now even if I lay my head down at night, after a day I got perfectly right, She won't know..."

Those song lyrics seem to ring so true for life with diabetes sometimes and came to mind last night as I lay on the couch waiting for things to level out after a 2 AM low.  The evening before, we went to a neighbors house for a game night with some friends.  There was a lot of beer and a lot of delicious snack foods, including some amazing cookie dough truffles and tater tops, stuffed with cheese, wrapped in bacon (sooooooooo good).  At first I had told myself I wasn't going to drink because I didn't want to have to deal with continually taking insulin for each beer I had throughout the night.  But as the night wore on and everyone else was enjoying their beer and I had finished my diet Dr. Pepper I decided to have a couple.  Typically in this situation I would bolus for the first, then forget about any others and end up high later.  This time though I decided I was only going to have the two Angry Orchard ciders that were left in my fridge.  They are a favorite of mine so I knew they had 24 carbs a piece so I bolused for both as well as an estimate for the snacks I had eaten.  I always err a little on the low side when drinking so I tested when I got home late that night and was at 224.  I corrected with 4 units and went to bed.  Then a couple of hours later I found myself waking up sweaty and shaky so I stumbled down the stairs to find myself at 55 and eating Sour Patch Kids in the middle of the night.  That's where the frustration comes in.  Even though I did everything correctly tonight I still wound up low in the middle of the night.  I counted my carbs for dinner and bolused.  I took insulin for the drinks I had and limited myself to the amount of drinks I had planned on.  I even bolused for my snacking which is a rarity.  Then I double checked when I got home and corrected the high from my bolus coming up a little short, which I expected because I would rather be high after wards and enjoy the evening than go low in front of a bunch of people I've just met.  And the rarest thing of all is that I limited myself to about 16 carbs to fix the low.  Even though I was tired and all I really wanted to do was eat the entire box of candy and go back to bed.  I checked again before heading to bed and was 113.  After waking up this morning I was at 143.  These kinds of times are not uncommon.  Even when you feel like you've done everything right you still end up with this off the wall number, be it a high or a low.  You do exactly what you should.  Treat the low with minimal carbs and still end up high again later.  You've put in all this work and if someone were to look at this number or maybe a high A1c they wouldn't know that you even tried.