5 years ago I was given the best gift I could ever ask for. A gift that keeps on giving (and taking if you ask my bank account). At 5:12 pm today Camden will be 5 years old and, while it is early on, it has been a great ride so far. He is the smartest, most stubborn, and funniest kid I know. He is learning what life is, what is and isn't OK, what he can get away with, and just how far he can push his mother. And I am learning when to say no and when to let it slide, that I can't say certain words in front of him, and how to explain the hard things (why is the grass green, why is the sky blue, what does respect mean, where do babies come from). So we are learning together and we both screw up now and then. I love so much about being a dad and everything that this undersized ball of energy (seriously, he's like 40 lbs of go in a 10 lb sack) brings to me, but it is just one more reminder that diabetes effects every part of my life. There are days that I can't get myself out of bed because I feel so run down. I lose my cool because the highs make me irritable. I have to stop in the middle of a game of soccer to eat some candy and hold off a low. And then there is the nagging feeling in the back of my head that someday, because he has inherited my genes, he could very well end up fighting the same battles, and that's the hardest thought of all to deal with. But if that day comes and I am so glad that I have experienced this first so I can help him through it. And right now, we are both still learning. I teach him what I can, and he teaches me more than I ever thought he could. No matter what happens I know I'll treasure every second of it.
No comments:
Post a Comment