Monday, December 8, 2014

Frustration abounds

My last post and this one are less about diabetes and more about our hectic life right now, because with everything else going on diabetes has kind of been pushed to the back of my mind lately (which I'm sure will be evident on my A1c in a few weeks).  I'm going to preface this post by saying that I don't necessarily believe in fate, things being meant or not meant to be, the universe choosing a path for you, or anything along those lines.  Things happen because they happen not because some being willed them to be that way or because they are part of a universal plan.  At least as far as I am concerned.

  As I mentioned briefly before, I am in the the process of getting a new home.  Something that has been much wanted for a couple of years but just not doable financially.  Our current house is just over 1000 square feet and with the 4 of us taking up more space everyday it is getting tight.  And if someone comes to visit, it gets to the point of insanity.  Especially for a person like me with an introverted personality who like to be able to escape for some alone time now and then.  The Pretty Lady in My Life takes amazing pictures for a living.  As a part of that the company she works for also does business shoots and fingerprinting.  She meets a lot of people from the banking and lending world.  A few months ago she met a lender who works with a company that we recieve periodic updates from about houses for sale.  After talking to him she decided to, on a bit of a whim, see if by any chance we would be able to either sell our house or qualify for a second loan and rent our current house.  We got burned a while back looking into something simile when someone assured us we could sell our house and get into a new one only to fall in love with a few houses and find out we had been lied too.  Because of this my wife did a lot of research before we even considered the possibility, despite what the lender said.  In the end, the lender assured we were in the clear.  Our house was barely at a point where we could pay it off with a full price offer at max value and there would still be all the fees associated with that so we decided to rent for a year and re-evaluate.  We started to look around and settled on having a house built because it was as cheap as buying an existing home and we would get to make it exactly what we wanted.  We crunched a lot of numbers, did a lot of research, and put in a lot of time to make sure we were getting what we wanted but not getting in over our heads.  At long last we had picked what we wanted, settled on a location, and went to sign the papers.

  With a contract signed, everything we wanted selected, and a floor plan finalized we were excited to see our new home start to go up.  We wouldn't actually own it until it was completed and we signed all the closing papers, but, it was finally happening!  We were going to get out of the house we had grown to despise and into a new home we were in love with.  Our new house is very close to our current one so throughout the process we are able to drive by and pop in to look at the progress.  And we do...a lot.  The construction crew probably thinks we are stalking them.  To say we were excited is an understatement.  We had so much invested in this house.  So much time researching and reviewing options, ensuring we were good to go.  So much emotional investment.  In our minds we were already living there.  And then disaster struck.  On our current home we received down payment assistance from Idaho Housing.  On the new house we were told that we would be able to be gifted the funds for down payment, it wouldn't be a problem.  Somehow, this wonderful man who had ensured us everything was good to go, had overlooked that our loan was an Idaho Housing loan, even though it is our biggest debt, appears clearly on our credit report, and he deals extensively with the program.  Remember that part about my wife being all about researching our options and making sure we really could do this?  It was definitely mentioned to the lender that we had that loan.  And now, because of that, we wouldn't be able to do our second loan that way.  And the lender is really really sorry for the oversight.  I'm sure he is.  Long story short we looked through option after option to see how we could get this house.  We would find one option and think we could make it work, then find out a reason it wouldn't.  Can you say emotional roller coaster?  In the end it was looking like our only option would be to find some way to come up with $10,000 in reserves and down payment on top of closing costs.  Things were looking grim.  In a last ditch attempt we had set up a meeting with another lender.  She thought she had a solution.  We could get an FHA loan and the only question would be how much the reserves would need to be.  We were not hopeful but after running our credit we found that we would only need 1 months reserves on both properties, or about $4,000 with the down payment.  We could do that!  The roller coaster goes back up!  I can not explain our excitement.  I wish that it had lasted.

  We had barely left the office when the lender called us to tell that she thought she could qualify us for two FHA loans but now she can't.  And the coaster drops again.  The most frustrating part is that my wife had asked that very question when we met with her.  Then we learned that my 401k could count as those reserves and I had more than I thought.  We were saved!  Until I learned that my an does not include an option to borrow against it so it couldn't be counted. Our last option was to try to sell our house fast.  That meant getting it into top selling condition, and getting it sold at max value in under 2 months.  Not likely.  We were dejected. I dreamt at night about living in that house.  The thought of all that space to not be living in top of one another was like a dream come true.  And to have that all ripped away was like having a delicious meal put in front of you and then told that you can't have any of it.  At night I slept fitfully.  The few weeks prior had been filled with so many ups and downs, and we were all emotionally spent.

  And now some good news.  Some amazing relatives have come through and offered to gift the money for the reserves and down payment.  So, fingers crossed, we are hoping to be moving into our new home the middle of next month.  I am trying to temper my expectations because I can not handle another let down.  But as we walked through the nearly completed house today it is so hard not to be excited and be living there in my mind.  I can already picture our bed against this wall, our kids things here and there, a tv in that wall.  I can see us preparing and eating dinner in our new kitchen.  I watched my kids chase each other around and plan out their new rooms.  I just hope I'm not setting myself up for another disappointment.


  1. So glad family could help out and hopefully things will go smoothly from here:-)

    1. Thanks Laddie! Fingers are crossed. If all goes well the next challenge is moving mid winter.