Everyday

Wake up.

Prick the finger, test the blood.

High.  Dial up the pen, poke, inject.

Dial up 28 units from the grey pen, poke, inject.

Take a pill to make me "happy."

Cook breakfast. 

Count carbs.

Dialing up the pen, poke, inject.

Prick the finger, test the blood.

Too much or too little?

Make lunch.

Count carbs.

Dial up the pen, poke, inject.

Take a pill to stop the headache.

Make dinner.

Count carbs.

Dial up the pen, poke, inject.

Go to bed.

Try to sleep.  

Repeat.

Happy Birthday again!

Yesterday, just two weeks after her brother turned 5, Hadley had her 2nd birthday (that was going to say celebrated her birthday but then I realized we aren't celebrating until tomorrow). I have feeling that some day this two week stretch is going to be difficult and depressing for their mother.  Watching a first child grow up and reach all the milestones was such an awesome experience and feel so blessed to be able to do it a second time.  Blessed and exhausted, but mostly blessed.  My experience with Hadley has been quite different than the first time because I have a little experience behind me and because she is so different.  I love the way she can entertain herself and I get as much enjoyment out of watching her do her thing as she gets out of doing it.  She melts my heart every time she runs to me and wraps her arms around my neck and puts her head on my shoulder.  I'm not sure how a 2 year old does it but somehow she knows exactly what mornings I need a pick me up the most and those are the mornings she gives me the biggest smile when I walk through the door.  There are days when I just don't think I can handle another second.  But those moments are quickly replaced with joy because my family makes me extremely happy.  Hadley has such a happy soul and I can tell already that she is going to take great joy in spreading that happiness around.  She does it so well already.  I can't wait to see the changes that come and to see her grow up, as long as that stops at 12 because she is not allowed to be a teenager or date.  Sorry, Badley, Dad's rules

Going Home

Yesterday marked the beginning of my first departure from home since being diagnosed as insulin dependent.  I am back in my hometown to celebrate my parents 50th wedding anniversary with my family and will be here for 5 days.  I have been slightly stressing over the packing process for about a week now.  How much insulin am I going to need?  Should I pack some back up pens?  What will I do if I have an emergency and need to get more insulin.  In the end I calculate how much basal insulin I will be using and came to the conclusion that the current pen I am using has enough in it; and then packed one more as well as an additional pen for bolus insulin.  In the end I think I spent more time worrying about what to pack than actually packing it and arrived last night with everything I needed.  Well almost everything.  I seem to have forgotten my razor and shaving cream but I'd rather be conscious and hairy than clean shaven and unconscious.

My buddy

I remember the commercials for the "My Buddy" dolls from when I was a kid (side note: who was ballsy enough to take the idea of marketing a doll for boys to their boss?). The image of the little boy taking his buddy all over with him, a constant companion.  I never had a My Buddy doll but now that I'm grown I have a buddy of my own, a constant companion that goes everywhere with me in the form of my Accu-Check Aviva blood glucose monitor.  Not necessarily because I want the 3x5 reminder of my disease by my side wherever I go, but because I have to.  We're I to buy a glucose monitor today I'm sure I would look into every feature, check other people's reviews and opinions, and drastically over analyze the whole thing.  But when I got my meter it was amidst a whirlwind of emotions after being newly diagnosed and it was one of two options covered by my insurance.  I wasn't worried about features or functionality.  I was worried about how much strips were going to cost and being able to figure out the mess I felt I was in.  Today I have 6 meters (my new doctor felt the need to unload one of everything she had onto me at my first visit.  And I have one at work from an emergency last Thanksgiving). One of them sits unopened, one is only opened for the sake of robbing it of its battery for my other meter, and one because it had 10 strips in it and I was waiting on a refill.  One of these newer ones probably has benefits that make it better than my current meter and at least on of them would save me $20 a month on strips, but I stick with the Accu-Chek (I suddenly feel the need to name my meter now).  It has been there with me from the start.  I learned about Type 2 diabetes and the effects of carbs on my body with it, I adjusted to my new diagnosis of Type 1 and figured out my insulin to carb ratios with it.  There is icing caked into the zipper of the case on one side from the cake we had at work for some ones retirement.  Sadly I remember the cake more than who retired.  It's dirty and worn, but it's my buddy.  We have been through a lot together in the last 2 years and even though there are probably newer, better, more accurate, and flashier models out there, I'll stick with old reliable because, hey, she's gotten me this far right?