This is my post for Day 3 of DBlog Week. Interested in more? Check it out here.
"Yesterday we kept stuff in, so today let's clear stuff out. What is in your diabetic closet that needs to be cleaned out? This can be an actual physical belonging, or it can be something you're mentally or emotionally hanging on to. Why are you keeping it and why do you need to get rid of it? (Thank you Rick of RA Diabetes for this topic suggestion.)"
There are several things that I know I need to clean out of my metaphorical diabetes closet. Negativity, bitterness, and anger top the list. I have been stuck in a rut lately, not just for my diabetes care but my life in general and its a very negative one. I have had a tendency to take a lot of things directed at me very personally, and immediately I see it in a negative light and retaliate. This weekend was a perfect example. A group from work formed a team to walk in the Susan G. Komen race for the cure. I've not been directly effected by breast cancer so I can't really say that I can relate with all the people there to show their support or walk as survivors, just as someone without T1 can't relate to what seeing all the kids walking with the families at the JDRF walk meant to me. Unfortunately, I approached the whole event with a very bitter and negative attitude. Rather than enjoy the event for what it was, a celebration for all the women who have beaten breast cancer and a way to honor those who were unable to beat it, I could only compare it to the showing my own walk received the week before. The difference in attendance was staggering. A river of pink filled the a 3 lane road for well over a mile. It was an amazing sight and looking back now I am glad that they were able to have such a great turnout.
I have been walking around with a very bitter chip on my shoulder. I organized a radio remote at my store and sold popcorn and drinks to raise money for my walk team and spread the word. We made $10, which is mostly on me because I did little to plan it in advance. I made the comment to my wife that if I had a pink ribbon on the table I probably would have sold a lot more. It's probably a true statement but there is the problem. I cannot compare our community to others. When I compare diseases and try to think that one is worse than the other, no one wins. It is just like someone saying to me "At least it's not cancer," when they learn I have diabetes. It's disrespectful and ignorant. It discounts the battle that those people have fought, win or lose.
So, cleaning out my closet needs to start by throwing out my bitter feelings and changing my outlook. It won't be easy but it is necessary. The negativity is seeping into and ruining many parts of my life. It's time for it to go.
You can read all the other amazing posts for "Cleaning Out The Closet" here!