Giving Back

     About 5 years ago I started feeling the desire to give back to my community.  There were always people around me who were willing to help out others when there was a need.  I just couldn't find a way that worked for me.  My job offers me a lot of opportunities to donate money and I take advantage of those but I was looking for more.  After being diagnosed with diabetes in 2011 I spent a lot of time on the American Diabetes Association website and came across the Step Out program.  I really wanted to participate but the closest event was too far away to be feasible.  I began asking about the possibility of starting a Step Out walk in the Boise area and was introduced to the Community Walk program.  I brand new program, Community Walks were designed for smaller cities too far away from Step Out walks to participate.  It is entirely volunteer driven and has no monetary support from the ADA.  2012 was the inaugural year for Community Walks and I was contacted in July about the new program.  We set a date in September, leaving a small amount of time to plan our walk.  In the end it was a less stellar turnout than envisioned but still a very good experience for me.  I had a lot of family attend but not many people beyond that.  Thanks to a lot of help from my Father-in-law we raised over $1000.  Which brings me to today...

     This past Saturday was our Second Annual Walk to Stop Diabetes.  There was a much larger turnout, around 25 people, and raised around $1300.  We should be getting another $1000 from a volunteer program through my employer and $550 from my father-in-laws employer.  That is huge!  All those funds go to the American Diabetes Association and is used for research towards a cure, funding community outreach and education programs and keeping PWDs from being discriminated against because of their diabetes.  I am so thankful for the support of local, businesses, our community, the people I work with, and my family.  This event would not have happened without them. I am grateful to be able to do something to give back to an orgonanization that is striving to help all of us who battle diabetes everyday.

Thanks to all of you who donated, walked, and showed your support.  We'll see you all next year!

Broken

I love my Dexcom CGM.  There is no way around that.  There is just one problem.  That little sensor attached to my stomach has become another reminder.  Everytime I lift my shirt and look down I see the sensor, I see the bruises from the injections, and I remember that I will be in this same routine for the rest of my life.  And it is depressing.  I keep a pretty positive outlook most of the time.  I love the opportunities I get to educate others about the disease.  I few days ago I got to show of my CGM to some co-workers and excitedly tell them the ins and outs and how it is a great tool to spot trends and tweak insulin dosage.  I totally geeked out on them.  I also got to express my passion and some of the startling numbers about diabetes to a group of workers while I tried to rally support for this years Community Walk.  Times like that make me realize that this disease has had it's blessings come with it.  I feel hopeful and love that I have this part of me that fuels a passion to spread the word and help others.  And then I look down... 

Cyborg Glucose Monitoring!

A week ago I entered the world of CGM (continuous glucose monitoring not cyborg glucose monitoring as the title suggests).  For those who don't know how this works, I'll explain.

I attach a sensor to my body, either on my belly, butt, thigh, or arm, which has a filament that is deposited under my skin by a very small needle.  This filament determines blood glucose readings by monitoring sugar levels in interstitial fluid (the fluid I between cells).  This information is sent via a small grey transmitter to a receiver that displays a blood glucose reading every 5 minutes.  The sensor is calibrated by periodic checks with a finger prick from a standard glucose monitor.

In the last 6 days (I'm excluding the first day because apparently the pain killer I took confused the sensor which in turn confused me) this information has already proven invaluable.  I simple vibration from my pocket tells me "Hey Craig, you should probably take a break and eat something", or "Hey stupid, that handful of Snickers fun size you ate should have been accompanied by some insulin."  

But the information goes beyond a simple number and alert now and then.  While a finger stick will give me a number that tells me if I'm high or low, my CGM will tell me where I've been for the past 12 hours, if I'm headed up or down, and how fast. That is really good information when I'm deciding how to treat. If I know that I'm at 200 and falling I'll use less insulin than if I'm at 200 and rising.  Same goes for treating lows.

Yesterday reaffirmed my thoughts that this was a great choice for me.  I left work and took The Bug to the urgent care.  After dropping her off at daycare I stopped at the gas station to get a donut.  I injected what I thought was the correct amount for the donut and enough  to cover my planned breakfast after I got home.  Having worked a 12 hour shift on an hours sleep I was exhausted when I got home and collapsed on the couch, forgetting the breakfast and taken insulin to cover.  An hour or so later I snapped awake, not sure if the Dexcom was beeping or if something else woke me.  I was in a stupor and shaking badly.  My mind was in a fog and I took a second to remind myself where I was.  I reached for the receiver to my Dexcomand it simply read LOW.  Looking at the graph it appeared I was in the low 50's.  This was the worst low I had ever experienced.  Had I spent the time looking for my meter in my already confused state and then tried to pour myself some cereal which already ended up on the floor before reaching for a handful of gummy bears I very well may have been found in a crumpled heap on the floor.  But the Dexcom allowed me to act fast without searching for anything extra or taking extra steps.  

My experience so far has been full of positives and I've loved being able to explain to people that my new toy is not an MP3 player.  Hopefully it continues that way as I continue to pay more for this equipment than simple test strips but reap greater rewards.

The Facts of Life

Well, it's official.  My body hates itself.  It has taken to attacking itself not just in one form but now two.

After a promising doctors appointment two weeks ago during which I found out my A1c has dropped down to 6.4 (Yay! Go me!) I found out the results of a blood test they did the same day.  The test came back positive for auto-antibodies indicating that I have Rheumatoid Arthritis.  So my body first said " Scree you pancreas, we don't want you here anymore," and is now saying the same to my joints.  

While part of me is relieved to know what the constant worsening pain in my pinkie is, part of me is, of course, saddened and partly afraid.  I waited two weeks to hear the results of the blood test, will wait at least the weekend and most likely part of next week for a referral to a rheumatologist, and then it sounds like a 3 to 6 month wait to actually see said doctor.  My biggest concern for the wait is that during that time I will do my best to self educate, learn about all the possible downfalls of yet another chronic illness, and worry myself about them.  

So thank you immune system.  But I guess that's the way it is.  If Nick at Nite taught me anything it's that you take the good.  You take the bad.  And there you have.  The facts of life.  (Thanks Mrs. Garrett.) end shameless 80's sitcom reference

Everyday

Wake up.

Prick the finger, test the blood.

High.  Dial up the pen, poke, inject.

Dial up 28 units from the grey pen, poke, inject.

Take a pill to make me "happy."

Cook breakfast. 

Count carbs.

Dialing up the pen, poke, inject.

Prick the finger, test the blood.

Too much or too little?

Make lunch.

Count carbs.

Dial up the pen, poke, inject.

Take a pill to stop the headache.

Make dinner.

Count carbs.

Dial up the pen, poke, inject.

Go to bed.

Try to sleep.  

Repeat.

Happy Birthday again!

Yesterday, just two weeks after her brother turned 5, Hadley had her 2nd birthday (that was going to say celebrated her birthday but then I realized we aren't celebrating until tomorrow). I have feeling that some day this two week stretch is going to be difficult and depressing for their mother.  Watching a first child grow up and reach all the milestones was such an awesome experience and feel so blessed to be able to do it a second time.  Blessed and exhausted, but mostly blessed.  My experience with Hadley has been quite different than the first time because I have a little experience behind me and because she is so different.  I love the way she can entertain herself and I get as much enjoyment out of watching her do her thing as she gets out of doing it.  She melts my heart every time she runs to me and wraps her arms around my neck and puts her head on my shoulder.  I'm not sure how a 2 year old does it but somehow she knows exactly what mornings I need a pick me up the most and those are the mornings she gives me the biggest smile when I walk through the door.  There are days when I just don't think I can handle another second.  But those moments are quickly replaced with joy because my family makes me extremely happy.  Hadley has such a happy soul and I can tell already that she is going to take great joy in spreading that happiness around.  She does it so well already.  I can't wait to see the changes that come and to see her grow up, as long as that stops at 12 because she is not allowed to be a teenager or date.  Sorry, Badley, Dad's rules

Going Home

Yesterday marked the beginning of my first departure from home since being diagnosed as insulin dependent.  I am back in my hometown to celebrate my parents 50th wedding anniversary with my family and will be here for 5 days.  I have been slightly stressing over the packing process for about a week now.  How much insulin am I going to need?  Should I pack some back up pens?  What will I do if I have an emergency and need to get more insulin.  In the end I calculate how much basal insulin I will be using and came to the conclusion that the current pen I am using has enough in it; and then packed one more as well as an additional pen for bolus insulin.  In the end I think I spent more time worrying about what to pack than actually packing it and arrived last night with everything I needed.  Well almost everything.  I seem to have forgotten my razor and shaving cream but I'd rather be conscious and hairy than clean shaven and unconscious.